Roulette
by Avengerlicious
Summary: In which the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. play food roulette in their spare time. Set at the beginning of Season One, before things went south.
1. Cupcake Roulette

**A/N**

 **Reuploading bc I don't know why I removed this story in the first place...Its not great, since it was written a when AOS was first released. Anyhoo, I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)**

Nobody knows whose idea it was, nor does it really matter. The important thing is that the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. are going to play cupcake roulette. If you're not familiar with the game, it's like Russian roulette, with cupcakes instead of guns. Basically, there are six cupcakes, one for each agent, but one is rigged… with tuna. Yeah, you heard right, one of the cupcakes has tuna inside.

So one by one, the agents choose a cupcake and must take a massive bite out of it, and hope that their cupcake isn't the one that has tuna in it.

The agents all gathered around the bar (a really nice one, in Director Fury's opinion) and Agent Simmons placed a tray of six cupcakes on it. They were covered in chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles scattered over the top.

Agent Ward was sitting on a bar stool, shaking his head and thinking about how stupid this game was, and Skye sat beside him grinning, thinking this was so cool. FitzSimmons were both calculating how not to get the rigged cupcake, May was studying the cupcakes, and Coulson was… well, Coulson.

"Can we start already?" Skye whined, eager to begin this sweet, sweet game of roulette.

"Give me a second…" Fitz said, staring down the cupcakes. "Okay, we can begin."

"Great!" Skye exclaimed, rubbing her palms together.

"Whose stupid idea was this, anyway?" Grant muttered as Skye chose a cupcake. Her decision was made by picking the one with the most sprinkles. Skye loooved sprinkles. She took a massive bite out of the cupcake, and was met with more cupcake: no tuna.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, a mixture of saliva and chocolate crumbs flying out of her mouth. "Your turn Ward!"

He shook his head again before picking up a cupcake, any cupcake and taking a big bite out of it. Nothing. He was clean. He kept a straight face and continued eating the cupcake.

Agent May shot her hand out and snatched a cupcake from the tray, pausing before shoving the thing into her mouth. No tuna either.

You could now see Fitz and Simmons beginning to sweat. Their odds of getting a rigged cupcake before were one out of six, but now they were one in three. Beads of sweat slid down both their foreheads, but amazingly, Phil remained completely calm. He lifted a cupcake gracefully from the tray and brought it up to his mouth. His hand lingered there for a second before he took a big bite out of the cupcake. He smiled, his cheeks bulging from the cupcake. Coulson had escaped the evil tuna cupcake.

FitzSimmons shared a worried look before Fitz grabbed a cupcake. Jemma began chewing at her nails, anxious about being the one to receive the cupcake of doom.

Leo took a big bite out of his cupcake. He coughed and gagged… and spat out the rest of the cupcake onto the bar. Skye, May, Ward and Coulson dispersed, while Jemma sat there, cheering, not caring that tiny pieces of chewed up tuna had ended up on her blouse. But who really cares about clothes? She escaped the evil cupcake… and Fitz was completely and utterly regretting participating in cupcake roulette.


	2. Popcorn Roulette

**A/N**

 **Heyoo, here's the next chapter.. I have planned this out and there should be about 14 chapters, so stay tuned! Also, thanks for the reviews guys, they really mean a lot.. Keep em' coming :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

After Fitz's absolutely disgusting result in the last game of roulette the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. played, he was wasn't exactly excited when Jemma had suggested to play another round. This time, it was going to be popcorn.

So you ask, how on earth can you play roulette with popcorn? Well, Jemma, used her science-y brain to conjure up something fantastic. She divided her engineered popcorn into six different cups. But one cup contained special popcorn. Popcorn that contained an almost lethal dose of popping candy. Let's just say she enjoyed their game of cupcake roulette waaay too much.

Jemma grabbed all of the cups, some in her hands, while some wedged between her arm and body while she carried the cups out to the bar. She placed them all down and shuffled them, completely losing track of which cup had the rigged popcorn.

Once she had done so, she whistled loudly and everyone came rushing in. Their lips turned to frowns when they realised why Jemma had called them. Another game of roulette.

Ward peeked into one of the cups and said, "It's just popcorn."

"Yes, and we're playing popcorn roulette," Jemma confirmed. Everybody groaned.

Every agent in the team sat around the bar and glared at the cups while Jemma clapped her hands together and grinned.

"Okay, let's get this over with," May said, picking out a cup at random and emptying its contents into her mouth, tapping the butt of the cup to speed up the process.

She chewed, and nothing happened. May slammed the cup on the table and gestured to Skye to choose next.

"No! Knowing my luck, I should pick next!" Fitz exclaimed, snatching a cup at random and pouring the popcorn in his mouth. Nothing happened, no explosions in his mouth. He threw up his arms and did a little victory dance.

Skye rolled her eyes and chose a cup. She poured it into her hand and then put the popcorn in her mouth. She waited, but nothing happened. She began to chew when she suddenly scrunched up her nose. She spat out the popcorn and let out a scream. You could literally hear the popping candy as it danced on her tongue like a five year old on Halloween. She ran to the sink as quickly as she could and shovelled water in her mouth repeatedly, while Simmons jogged after her, trying to tell Skye that the popping candy doesn't react well with water, but Skye didn't hear, and she only realised when the popping got louder and more violent.

"Simmons!" she tried to scream, but she wasn't too successful since pieces of the candy ricocheted between the walls of her mouth. Jemma shoved a piece of bread in Skye's mouth and the popping died down.

"Thank you," Skye tried to say, but her words were muffled by the bread. She glanced over at the team who all, apart from May, were on the ground, laughing their heads off. Grant was the loudest.

Skye glared at him, her eyes telling him that he'll be next. She'll make sure of it.


	3. Pie Roulette

**A/N**

 **Here we go, chapter three of Roulette! Thanks for reviewing guys.. Also, requests are more than welcome :) Thank youu**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

Skye skipped out of the Bus's kitchen, holding a tray of six small meat pies. She had a massive grin on her face. Yep, she and the gang were going to play pie roulette, whether they liked it or not.

She placed the tray carefully on the bar and called for the others to come.

"Guys! Come up here for a sec!" she called, using the intercom for good measure. A moment later all the other agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Coulson were standing beside the bar, groaning.

"Come one, lighten up! Get in the spirit of roulette, you're not going to die," Skye said cheerfully.

"Knowing your cooking, we probably will," Grant said, taking his usual seat at the bar. Skye flashed a fakely sweet smile at him before practically forcing him to take the first pick. But no, he wanted to wait.

"Let Simmons go first! She loves this game," Ward said, and Skye sighed. "Fine."

But Simmons had a giddy smile on her face as she reached for a pie. She chewed, and swallowed, and nothing happened.

"Mmmm, beef," she said with a much brighter smile this time. Fitz rushed to pick the next pie. He loved beef pies and he completely forgot about the possibility of a rigged pie. He shoved the pie into his mouth, but froze before even beginning to chew, finally remembering that the cupcake currently dissolving in his mouth could contain who knows what. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face as he began to chew slowly. Lucky for him, he got plain beef. He let out a happy sigh.

Skye reached out for a pie with an obviously knowing smile on her face. Grant immediately realised this and his hand shot out and grabbed the pie. Skye knew which was the rigged pie, and he wasn't going to risk getting it. He shoved the pie in his mouth and chewed confidently. He suddenly scrunched his nose, and spat out the pie.

"What the hell's in this?!" he yelled, washing out his mouth with water.

"Prunes," she said with a smirk. She got him.

"You're gonna pay, Skye."

Skye just responded with a sarcastic, "Sure."

"You just wait. I'll get you!" he continued.

Skye just nodded and took a bite of a pie. "Mmhmm."


	4. Jelly Roulette

**A/N**

 **Chapter four, here it is! Thanks for reviewing, it means a lot.. Requests are welcome :) Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

Ward grinned devilishly as he sprinkled an excessive amount of chilli powder into one cup of jelly mixture. There was almost more chilli than actual jelly! He mixed the powder in the cup thoroughly so the chilli wasn't visible before pouring water into each cup and then putting the cups into the fridge to set. He couldn't wait to see the look on the victim's face. And he hoped that it'd be Skye. Maybe Ward (and the rest of the team no less) was a little nuts.

* * *

"Guys, come up to the bar," Ward called through the intercom while setting up the cups of jelly. He mentally kicked himself for losing track of the one with chilli in it. He could already hear the groans of the others as they made their ways from the other side of the bus. Skye was the first to arrive.

"Aww, looks like Ward is getting in the spirit of roulette!" Skye exclaimed. She patted his back as she passed him, saying, "I'm proud of you," and brought a hand up to her eye, pretending to tear up.

As the others made their way to the bar one by one, they all pondered what kind of surprise was in one of the jelly cups.

"I volunteer to go first!" Simmons exclaimed, elegantly picking up a jelly cup and eating a spoonful of jelly. She smiled as the sugary goodness melted in her mouth.

"This is good," she said, mouth full, to Ward, pointing to the cup with her spoon.

Ward snatched up the next cup, which thankfully wasn't rigged. Fitz was next, who too was happy that he wasn't victim again. That only left Skye, Coulson and May.

They all knew that Coulson, though he didn't show it, loved the game and watched him with excitement as he picked a cup of jelly. He scooped a lot of jelly into his spoon and brought it up to his mouth. He quickly tipped it into his mouth… but then he froze. His face was turning a nasty shade of red and his tongue was beginning to burn. He ran to the sink and began to splash water into his mouth as FitzSimmons were yelling at him that water won't help and that he should drink milk.

Coulson ran to the kitchen and grabbed a massive carton of milk and tipped it into his mouth. Half of the milk was flowing over his suit, but he managed to ease the burning.

"Ahhh," he said in relief.

The agents all wondered if and when Coulson would make his own contribution to their little roulette tradition.


	5. Ice Cream Roulette

**A/N**

 **Here it is, Chapter 5 - Ice Cream Roulette! Thanks for reviewing :) Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

Fitz grinned evilly as he stirred the mayonnaise into on cup of ice cream. He was a nice fellow, really, but he could be pretty evil if he put his mind to it.

He manoeuvred the spoon carefully to disguise the mayo as ice cream. He shivered as Simmons turned down the temperature in the walk-in fridge.

"Fitz!" she yelled through the thick glass wall. "Why are you making this nonsense?"

"It's for roulette!" he yelled back. Her face seemed to light up and she quickly left to round up the other team members. Simmons loved these kinds of games, even if they came with a nasty surprise, because they were great team bonding activities.

Once Fitz had finished with his evil plot, he gathered six cups of ice cream into his arms and walked upstairs to the bar. He saw all the agents sitting there, waiting for Fitz to arrive. Simmons and Skye looked excited, Ward looked bored, Coulson looked distracted and May looked like she really didn't care.

Fitz, unlike the others, had been fair and didn't try to remember which was the rigged cup.

"Lo and behold, ice cream roulette!" Fitz announced.

Simmons clapped like a five year old and the others laughed at her antics.

"I'm starving!" Skye exclaimed. She closely examined each cup of ice cream and chose the one that looked most normal. She wolfed down all the ice cream, and was met with no mayonnaise. She smiled, satisfied after the sugary snack.

Grant was next to risk the life of his tastebuds. He took a massive spoonful and shoved it in his mouth. He smiled as the icecream melted on his tongue. His eyes suddenly widened but he quickly shut them tightly.

"Brain…freeze…" he muttered through gritted teeth. Skye smiled evilly and grabbed his ice cream to finish off before he could get over his brain freeze.

Jemma was so excited, she just had to have the next cup. Her hand hovered over the cups as she decided which one to get. She chose one and took a big spoonful, but it wasn't as hard as ice cream, but rather soft.

She gulped. Jemma knew she had the cup of mayo ice cream, but she couldn't avoid eating it. She slowly brought up the spoon to her mouth and let the gooey treat fall into her mouth. She scrunched up her nose in disgust but managed to swallow. She immediately reached for another cup of ice cream to wash out the disgusting taste. Coulson and May quickly reached for their cups, leaving none for poor old Fitz.

"Hey!" he pouted. Jemma patted his back and slid over her original cup of mayo ice cream, but Fitz hadn't noticed. He smiled at Jemma and took a bite out of the ice cream only to spit it out a second later.

He glared at Jemma who just shrugged and smiled before digging into her cup of ice cream.


	6. Popcorn Chicken Roulette

**A/N**

 **Hey everybody, thanks for reviewing :) It really makes my day! Here's chapter six!**

 **Also, I've just posted a new Avengers story _The Traveller,_ so please check it out if you have time. It's mostly an Avengers fic but there is mention of AOS and X-Men so yeah, thanks :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

Coulson grinned as he took the steaming tray of popcorn chicken out of the oven. If there were three things on this world that Phil Coulson loved, those were popcorn chicken, Lola and Captain America. He separated six little pieces of popcorn chicken from the whole lot and grabbed the syringe he had prepared earlier. It was filled with the brown gooey liquid also known as chocolate sauce. He stabbed the first unsuspecting piece of popcorn chicken and pressed down on the top of the syringe and watched as the sauce disappeared into the chicken. He covered the hole with a bread crumb and set the piece of meat beside the others.

Coulson waltzed out of the Bus's kitchen and to the bar, placing the tray down and calling the others up.

When Grant arrived, he groaned and said, "Not you too, Coulson…" Coulson just smiled and waited for the others to arrive.

"Another game of roulette? Sweet," Skye said, sitting down next to Grant. Jemma's face visibly lit up when she saw the tray, despite the fact that she was the victim in the last game. Fitz, however, was not so happy.

"Oh no, not this stupid game again!" he exclaimed.

"Suck it up, princess," May said. She picked up a piece of chicken and popped it into her mouth. She didn't grimace or scrunch her nose in disgust. May was clean.

Skye had her turn, and she too managed to escape the chocolate sauce. FitzSimmons followed, both avoiding the rigged chicken. Then Coulson chose his, and he got a very nice, chocolate-free piece.

Ward gulped as Skye brought her phone up to film the scene. He stared down at the piece of chicken that he knew had the chocolate inside it. But he knew that, since both were delicious, they couldn't possibly be TOO bad together. He picked up the piece and his hand trembled. He shoved the piece inside his mouth and braced himself for the taste.

Nothing. Skye grinned as she had Grant's actions on camera, enough to prove he wasn't the man he claimed to be.

"The hell?" he asked after he swallowed his piece. "Who got the rigged chicken?"

"I don't understand," Coulson said. "I clearly remember injecting the sauce."

May stood and walked hurriedly away. She burst into a fit of laughter once she was far away enough.

"I'm going to kill you, May!" Ward called, chasing after her as Skye uploaded the video to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s database for all agents to see.


	7. Toffee Apple Roulette

**A/N**

 **Hey everyone, this ones a bit shorter than the rest, and I'm sorry for that, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless.. Thanks for reviewing :) Chapter suggestions are always appreciated :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

May placed the tray of six toffee apples on the bar and marvelled at her masterpiece for a moment before calling up the other agents. She planned to make this game of roulette memorable.

Skye and Simmons were the only agents who were actually excited for the game. May was too, but she didn't plan on showing it.

"Guys, seriously? Another game of roulette?" Ward asked. He really despised these games.

"Come on, Ward! Why can't you just see the fun side of things?" Skye said. Grant glared at her but she just smirked in response. Ward threw insult at Skye and the pair soon launched into an argument, which was followed by FitzSimmons who began bickering about something scientific so Coulson and May were the only ones left. May shrugged and chose a toffee apple, the one she knew wasn't rigged. She took a massive bite out of it, and she was met with nothing out of the ordinary. She grinned as to not arise suspicion in the others' minds. Skye noticed that the game had started, as did Simmons, and they both reached for an apple. Skye bit into the apple eagerly and she began to gag. No, it wasn't the toffee, it was the apple… or rather, the lack of apple.

"Ugh onion!" she whined after spitting it out. Toffee remained in her mouth that still tasted of onion.

The others all took an apple from the tray and took big bites from them, and a collective "Onion!" sounded. The agents all gagged from the oniony taste, fighting over the sink to watch it out.

After they'd gotten most of the onion out, the turned to the Cavalry and yelled, "MAY!"

May just shrugged and turned to walk away as the others stewed in their seats.


	8. Gummy Bear Roulette

**A/N**

 **Chapter 8, here it is! Thanks for all the reviews :) Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

Skye really was a genius. Not a genius like FitzSimmons were, but she was more of an evil genius. Seriously, who else could come up with having gummy bears that contained an overdose of cinnamon?

Everyone knows what having too much cinnamon is like. Admit that once in your life, you have done the cinnamon challenge.

Skye had placed the little plate of six gummy bears on the bar. She remembered exactly which one was spiked, but she decided to make the game a little more interesting.

"Ooh, roulette! How exciting!" Jemma exclaimed when she saw the plate.

Skye grinned and began to explain her idea. "So here's how it's gonna work. Everyone will shut their eyes when they choose their gummy bear."

"Why?" Fitz asked, dumbfounded.

"Because it's more interesting that way," Skye replied.  
"No it's not," Fitz argued.

Skye was about to argue back when Jemma put her hand up to stop her. She shut her eyes tightly and chose a gummy bear. She popped it in her mouth and let it melt. She smiled, her eyes still closed. Skye pulled out a marker to draw on her face, but Fitz stopped her.

Fitz chose next, and he too passed without getting the spiked one.

May decided to go next. She really was getting into the spirit of the game. She shut her eyes and chose a gummy bear. She placed it on her tongue, waiting for the burn of the cinnamon. It never came.

Ward was next. He picked a random gummy bear and tossed it in the air. He caught it perfectly in his mouth, despite the fact that his eyes were shut. Now that was skill!

May urged AC to go next, and he was reluctant, but he did it anyway. Coulson put his hand over his eyes and chose a gummy bear with his free hand. He put the gummy bear in his mouth. He instantly felt the burn of the cinnamon when he swallowed.

Coulson screamed.

Skye was in fits of laughter.

May was concerned.

Ward was Ward.

FitzSimmons were relieved that they weren't the victims. They've had experience with cinnamon. It ain't pretty.


	9. Brownie Roulette

**A/N**

 **Thanks for reviewing! I'm running out of ideas, so suggestions are more than welcome :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

Jemma was a serious gal, but she let loose quite often. She enjoyed pulling the odd prank or two on Fitz, and she especially loved the team's games of roulette.

She was singing her heart out while waiting for the brownies to finish baking. Simmons was pretty good at cooking, which made the games that much more enjoyable.

When she pulled the tray of brownies, a delicious smell wafted from the kitchen to the rest of the Bus. The other agents knew what they were in for; another game of roulette.

Jemma quickly sliced open one brownie and put a slab of caviar in the centre, and then put the brownie back together with chocolate icing.

She carried the tray out to the bar and found all the other agents already there. She grinned and placed the tray in the centre.

Fitz whined in his adorable Scottish accent, making his complaints have a minimal impact on Jemma. She ruffled his hair as if he was a six-year-old and sat down beside him. Fitz grumbled and picked the first brownie. He might as well try not to get the spiked brownie.

He took a massive bite out of the brownie. His expression melted into one of happiness… and then anger. He spat the brownie out and glared at Jemma.

"Caviar! That's disgusting!"

Simmons patted his back, feigning sympathy while munching into her own, clean brownie. The other agents laughed and grabbed a brownie themselves while Fitz shrunk into his seat.


	10. Brownie Roulette Part II

**A/N**

 **Hey guys, so I decided to update really quickly to redeem myself for that last chapter. Caviar was a bit lame, but considering that these were written like two years ago, they ought to be a bit meh. This one was inspired by MysteryGal5, and you should all head over to her page and check out her stories! This one I wrote up today, so it should be better than most of the others. Drop a review if you like it, and if you have any ideas for upcoming chapters, please submit them because I'm running out! Thanks :) Enjoy Brownies Part II!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

* * *

Skye was resourceful. Having lived in a van, moving from city to city while searching for answers on her parents, she met some pretty interesting people. Those interesting people being drug dealers. So naturally, after Jemma's disappointingly lame attempt at brownie roulette, Skye decided to make it more interesting.

Baking pot brownies wasn't much of a problem for Skye, and she easily had a whole batch of them baked and ready for the agents to try. She decided to keep normal brownies out of it. She wanted to see what her fellow agents were like high, and she felt giddy just thinking about it.

Skye hummed cheerfully as she brought out a plateful of brownies out to the bar. The agents were already there, bickering over who was the real hero in their last mission. Fitz was insistent that his amazing skills out in the field were what kept the team alive. Jemma team didn't have the heart to crush his dreams. Ward didn't mind stealing Fitz's glory, and May and Coulson sat silently amused.

"We already did brownies," Jemma said when she noticed the plateful Skye was bringing to them.

"I know, but caviar? Really?" Skye said with a laugh. Jemma frowned but took the first brownie anyway. The others eyed her suspiciously, and when nothing happened, the rest of them cautiously took a brownie. They were all satisfied with their treat and finished it off. It only took a few minutes for the weed to kick in, and so chaos was brought forth.

"Oh, what a cute bunny," Jemma exclaimed, stroking an empty glass. Skye didn't stifle her giggles as she watched the scientist coo at the cup, but her attention was soon stolen by Ward, who had his lips pressed up against the wall and moaning her name. Next she watched May begin to sway her arms, dancing and singing Beyonce's latest hit. Fitz and Coulson were engrossed in the view out the window, pointing at clouds and cackling their heads off. Skye made sure to have her phone out, recording the agents as they made complete fools of themselves. This was definitely Skye's favourite round of Roulette.


	11. Sushi Roulette

**A/N**

 **Ahhh thanks for all the reviews, you guys are the best! Here's the next installment, Sushi Roulette! Also please note that this is set before the whole HYDRA thing (obvs bc Ward is in it) and this is like during that bit when Ward and May are sneaking around so yaaaa, enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

* * *

Fitz stood in the kitchen, muttering to himself as he looked for ingredients. It was his turn to host the roulette, and he was going to make sure it was a good one.

"Rice, aha!" he murmured when he spotted the bag of sushi rice. Yes, he was going to make sushi, and in one roll, he's going to put a lot of wasabi. He giggled, imagining the sight of one of his fellow agents sputtering over the spicy substance.

Eventually Fitz finished cutting up the last roll of sushi. He grinned at the spiked one. The wasabi wasn't visible at all. It just looked like avocado, which is something he had put in the other rolls.

He loaded all six rolls of sushi onto a platter and walked out with it balanced in one hand. Knowing Fitz, he'd probably drop it. The platter did slip out of his grip and it clattered to the floor. The sushi toppled off the plate and was now infested with germs.

Fitz silently cursed in his famous Scottish accent. One cannot take him seriously when he speaks with such an adorable accent.

He cleaned up the mess and returned to the kitchen to roll up the remaining rice in the seaweed. He didn't allow himself to rush, knowing that it would be totally worth it to see the look on the victim's face. Fitz placed the sushi rolls onto another plate and walked out to the bar, this time with both hands holding on. He gently lowered the plate on the bar and called for everyone to come.

"Guys, roulette time!" It took a few odd minutes for all the agents to arrive. Most groaned, but Simmons was excited as always.

"Aw Fitz," she said as a way of thanking him for continuing their disgusting tradition. They hadn't played roulette in a very long time, and Jemma missed it dearly. She chose the first roll and took a massive bite out of it. She munched on it freely, so she wasn't the victim.

The next to choose was Skye. Her hand lingered over the plate as her mind buzzed, choosing the one roll that she would eat. She finally lifted one off the plate and pushed it into her mouth. She obviously liked the taste, because she grinned, her mouth closed but full and held up two thumbs up.

Ward shook his head and chose a roll. He took one average bite out of the roll, but then spat it out, right in May's face.

"Sorry!" he exclaimed. May's features turned stone cold, her oddly calm anger sending shivers up the other agents' spines. She was fuming, but wasn't tearing Ward's head off.

She stood up and marched off to the bathroom to clean off.

"Your girlfriend's pissed," Skye sang.

"How did you-" Ward started, forgetting about the disgusting taste of wasabi that still poisoned his mouth. He was more interested in how Skye knew about him and May.

"We all know, Ward," Simmons cut him off.

"Yeah, it was so obvious," Fitz said, scratching the back of his head nervously. Looks like he didn't know after all.


	12. Hot Chocolate Roulette

**A/N**

 **Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews! This one was suggested by SLYNNR, you should all go check out their page. Anyhoo, reviews and requests are always welcome. Thanks!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

* * *

Ward was angry. Somehow, his whole team knew about him and May, and they've been paying him out about it ever since. He wanted his revenge, and he wanted it bad.

He had six identical mugs of hot chocolate lined up on the bar, the sweet smell wafting through the entire bus. He grinned as his fellow agents gathered around.

"What's the poison?" May asked sharply, still upset with him for spitting sushi in her face last time they played.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out," he responded with a smirk. Little did he know, shit was about to hit the fan. Literally.

The agents all took a mug into their hands, and together took a large gulp of the burning hot chocolate. Everyone stood there, glancing at each other in surprise. Everybody's tasted just fine. The group continued to drink their hot chocolate, laughing and joking around as they usually did.

Minutes later, a shocked expression made it onto May's face, before she leapt out of her seat and sprinted towards the bathrooms. Silence washed over the team as they all looked questionably at Ward.

"Laxative," was the only word he said before the entire team cracked up.

"You're so dead," Skye exclaimed with a laugh, clapping her hands with glee.

"She's going to kill you," Fitz added.

It finally dawned on Ward. He really was going to suffer the wrath of the Cavalry, and it wasn't going to be pretty.


	13. Russian Roulette

**A/N**

 **Woo hi guys, sorry I've been MIA for a little while. I've just had exam block until Thursday last week, and then had a tournament until yesterday, but now I'm back! Ben Mitchell (Luke Mitchell's brother!) was supposed to compete in the same tournament but then he pulled out which was disappointing :( But anyhoo, here it is, Russian Roulette!**

 **Thanks for reviewing btw, it means a lot :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

* * *

May was getting tired of the team's games of roulette. The worst thing you could get was something foul tasting, or in her instance, a bad case of diarrhea. She wanted to switch it up a bit, and make being the victim that little bit more terrifying. The agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. were going to play Russian Roulette, paintball style.

May had a collection of S.H.I.E.L.D. issue paintball guns which are usually used for practice missions and what have you. She had six of them, lined up neatly on one of the benches in FitzSimmons' lab. Only one of the six was loaded with a painful, colourful, foul smelling bullet inside.

May called her fellow agents down to the lab, where she had set up a miniature shooting range.

"Um, May, what's going on?" Skye asked, examining the four realistic-looking pistols sitting on the bench.

"Russian Roulette," she responded, her expression remaining completely serious. They all thought May had gone insane.

FitzSimmons launched into an angry rant at May, while the others were still trying to process what the hell May was thinking.

"Calm down, they're just paint guns," she said coldly, interrupting the scientists' rambling. The others visibly relaxed.

They each picked out a gun and paired up, having their partner shoot them with the gun from a mark placed five feet away from the screen May set up.

First to go were FitzSimmons, with Fitz being the first target. Simmons had her eyes squeezed shut as she pulled the trigger. Fortunately, nothing shot out of the gun. She and her Scottish friend switched places and the same thing happened; no paint.

Next were Skye and Ward, with Skye standing in front of the plastic screen. She stared down the barrel of the gun, waiting for Grant to pull the trigger. As soon as he did, a bang sounded through the BUS and Skye's front was splatteedr with paint. She wasn't too flustered, apart from the pain the briefly shot through her body and the bruise she knew would form.

A few seconds later, a foul smell wafted into Skye's nose, making her feel like throwing up.

"Oh my god, May! What the hell's in this paint?" she exclaimed, her voice nasally from the fingers pinching her nose shut. May just smirked, folding her arms across her chest victoriously.


	14. Spaghetti Roulette

**A/N**

 **Thanks for reviewing everyone!**

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It was Coulson's turn to cook dinner for the agents on the BUS on that fateful evening. Phil loved to cook and the agents always looked forward to dinner when he was on dinner duty. But Coulson had a plan. The team hadn't played Roulette in a while now, and he wanted to give one of the agents a little surprise in their meal that night.

Spaghetti Bolognese was on the menu that night, but one bowl would contain ghost chilli sauce, a sauce so hot that it was almost lethal. Phil wore a deceivingly friendly smile on his face as he set the bowls of spaghetti before the agents. All but two were already seated, while FitzSimmons were busy working on something down in their lab.

"Mmm, this smells delicious," Skye said, immediately digging in. Ward and May ate slowly, savouring the taste. Phil was disappointed that nobody got the poison, but he was especially looking forward to one of the scientists getting the rigged spaghetti.

"We're here!" Simmons sang as she and her Irish friend sauntered into the dining area of the BUS. The grinned at the sight of the delicious looking spaghetti, immediately stuffing a forkful of the pasta into their mouths.

Coulson grinned devilishly as soon as Simmons stopped chewing abruptly. Her face went a bright shade of red as she registered the lethal taste of the ghost chilli sauce, before she spat the food right into Fitz's plate. She burst out of her seat and made a beeline for the kitchen, searching for anything to ease the spice. Yoghurt, milk, breadcrumbs and water stained her shirt as she frantically stuffed her mouth full of everything that could neutralise the sauce. Her screams shook the plane as she paced, fanning her mouth with her tongue hanging out. It was quite a sight, which had her fellow agents on the ground laughing. All except for poor Fitz, who stared longingly down into his bowl of spit-covered pasta.


	15. Chocolate Roulette

**A/N**

 **Hey guys, this one's the last chapter :( I've decided to end it because I just don't have anymore roulette ideas, and it's getting a little hard to handle two stories at once with school and tennis taking up all my time so yeah :) I might decide to continue this story in the future during like holidays and stuff if you guys can give me some ideas :) Anyhoo, thanks for favouriting, following and reviewing!**

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Jemma was a scientist, and a damn good one at that. Ever since the team started their tradition of Roulette, she's been spending time down in the lab, secretly perfecting the ultimate roulette poison. And eventually, she did it. She was able to make a piece of chocolate taste like poop.

So when the team all came up to the bar for yet another game of roulette, none of them knew that it would be the last.

"Everybody pick a piece," Jemma ordered gleefully. She knew which one was the poo one, and she made sure not to get it. She wasn't going to gamble with her tastebuds like that.

First went May, who was honestly sick of playing the stupid game, despite being the ultimate champion. By the expression on her face, she was clear, but the rest of the team couldn't be too sure.

Ward was next, and he slowly placed the little piece of chocolate on his tongue. He let out a sigh of relief as he indulged in the sweet, sweet chocolate.

Fitz didn't waste time when it was his go. He pushed it into his mouth and chewed at the speed of lightning. The chocolate was swallowed before he could even taste it.

Agent Coulson came next. He held his piece up to eye-level and examined it carefully. After a few moments, he shrugged and tossed to piece into his mouth. The team watched him as his face contorted into an expression of absolute disgust.

"Jemma! That tastes like shit!" he tried to shout, but that proved difficult from the foul taste on his tongue. He spat out the chocolate instantly and ran to the sink, splashing his mouth with water until the taste was gone.

"That's it!" he shouted. "Roulette is now banned on this BUS."

The agents' faces had instantly fallen as they watched their boss storm off, but the sullen expressions didn't last long, replaced by laughter almost immediately as they recalled Coulson's reaction.

"I'm sorry, guys," Jemma said but she couldn't resist giggling.

"No, that was totally worth it," Skye responded with a grin. And worth it, it was.


End file.
